April 30, 2011

Dear Mother,

I suppose this pervasive sadness is normal when you've lost someone who means so much to you. Sometimes it interests me how tied in my thinking was to you. Tuesday I went to P.F.Changs and ordered the honey walnut shrimp that you liked. I always brought half back to you. Well, I ate half and that's all I could eat. I got a to-go box and brought the other half back, but I never could eat it. When we go back I'll order it again and this time I will eat it.

I keep cataloguing things in my head to tell you. So, let me start with the terrible tornadoes that hit Wednesday. Over 200 people were killed in Alabama. One big monster-sized tornado over a mile wide stayed on the ground from Tuscaloosa to Birmingham, and did tremendous damage in both places. McFarland Boulevard is gone and the University Mall is pretty well gone as well. West Birmingham was devastated and then Fultondale was hit. The tornado went north of Warrior, although Warrior had a lot of uprooted trees and some house damage from an earlier tornado that went through Wendesday morning. (We were okay on Baker Street.) It hit Cullman and wiped out about a block and a half. We were without electricity for a couple of days, and Alan came to stay with us because all of Madison County will be without power for 5 or 6 days. I'm thinking that you're having a much more peaceful and productive existence in Heaven.

Bub got a cataract removed Wednesday - in fact we were in the Eye Foundation while the storm was raging. By the time he was ready to come home we had some clear weather, followed by vicious weather again later. He can see 20/20 now, and seems quite satisfied with his surgery.

I'll call it a night for now. I got a steriod shot today for my cold, which was turning into laryngitis. The laryngitis is pretty well gone, but I'm still to wide awake to sleep.

Love from my heart,
Anne

April 20, 2011

Dear Mother,

Things are moving along. Brooks is in Chicago - had to wait at the Birmingham Airport 4 hours for a delayed plane. Ches and I went to Huntsville yesterday afternoon to play twilight golf with Alan. At least, Alan and Ches played. Since Ches likes golf so much, I'm thinking of taking lessons and being able to play with him. I think that would get him out and doing something physical more. Maybe we won't rent a cart - just walk around the course.

We ate at PF Changs last night and I so much wanted to bring you some of the candied walnut shrimp that you like. It wasn't as sharp a hurt - just a dull sadness.

Brooks and I talked about how much we miss your covering us in that blanket of prayer each morning. We agreed to pray for each other every morning, and that will help some. Maybe I can become more like you as a prayer person. I have your Bible, and I'm using that to read from in the mornings.

I will be working on my engineering curriculum today, and it's a nice, rainy day here. I do love an occasional rainy day - it seems to wrap around me and block out outside "noise."

Oh - I do need to let you know about Olean. She is grieving over you so much. She passed out night before last and Randall took her to Dr. Harper's yesterday. Ches made her a loaf of bread and I carried it over but didn't get to see her - she was resting. She called yesterday after she got up, and said that the antibiotic for her spider bite isn't doing any good, her blood pressure is up around 200, and she has a knot in her throat that Dr. Harper is sending her to a specialist for. He also counseled her over her grief over you. You were truly her anchor. I'm staying in touch with her and will help her along.

Love from my heart,

Anne

April 18,2011

Dear Mother,

Hop and Christen have moved into your home now, and Hop is particularly happy. I think he feels as if he's come home again. Christen is working hard to get everything ready. It's good to know that your grandson and his wife are living there, and that the circle of life continues. Funniest thing - Brooks won't get all of his "stuff" out of your house - you know, his old pictures and toys that you've saved for 60 years or so. He says that he's stored Hop's stuff all these years, and now Hop can store his stuff. I like that attitude! What a shame that I can't put that philosophy to use!

I'm having a bit harder time this week than last week dealing with not having you around. I didn't realize how many times I unconsciously think of you during the day. We stopped to buy strawberries at Sugar Creek and I looked around automatically for something you might like - settling on some young, tender squash - before I remembered that you aren't here to eat them.

On a brighter note - Scott left this morning to go back to Mobile. He'd carried my old bedroom suite (the one with the pineapple pattern) to his place and came back yesterday after church to return the truck. I didn't make it to church yesterday morning, but went last night. I'll be moving toward normal starting this week - began working on engineering curriculum again this afternoon.

I'm about to go up and pay Brooks a visit so I'll let you know how he seems to be doing. When I called him last night he was watching a movie at a friends house.

Love from my heart,

Anne

April 17, 2011

Dear Mother,

Do you remember my “scolding” you recently when you said you were ready to go on to be with the Lord rather than hanging around at the age of 93? I told you not to think like that – that we’d miss you so much if you weren’t here to be the family anchor, and keep us al in line. You looked at me and then remarked with your endearing humor – “You’ll get over it.” Well, I’ll get through it, because I can hear still hear you saying, “When things happen, you deal with it and move on.”

I so miss you so much, though. Our “girl talk” was so much fun. You were interested in everything I had to say, and you did more than just listen – you asked questions, laughed with me, and – when necessary – helped me to think differently about things. We had some great chats, didn’t we?

It occurs to me, however, that I haven’t actually lost you. I still hear you in my head – I know what you would say, what you would do, and how you would handle situations. When I look across the street I can almost believe you are still there. I have no idea that you can hear me if I talk to you, so I’m just going to write. Maybe in some weird, improbable way you’ll get the messages.

One quick note - if a funeral can be said to be a “success,” yours certainly was. Oliver used your memoirs and did a great job with the service – just the right amount of humor and remembrance. Jerrold preached and Becky sang. I felt comforted. Almost all of the Smith and Baker Clans turned out, and we had a warm family reunion – minus our beloved family matriarch, which put an understandable damper on things.

Okay, enough funeral stuff. What I really want to do is to keep you abreast of what’s going on here on Baker Street – and with the family and friends. I cleaned out almost your entire house last week except for the laundry room and the long cabinet in the hallway. I’ll get to those next week. In the meantime, Hop and Christen are moving in starting this weekend It’s going to be great to look across the road and see them there.

I’m going to go now and figure out how to turn this into an online blog that will allow me to keep writing you from anywhere. I think it’s going to be cathartic.

Oh! One more thing. . . Scott scanned in all of your memoirs and Ches is burning them to DVDs to send to each family member who wants one. More later!

Love from my heart,

Anne